One of the hardest things for new guys to figure out is exactly where they fit into the hierarchy of the venues they go to.
I was out with some new guys in Nashville last night and I saw this happening for them. As I woke up this morning in bed with two girls who were both several inches taller as well as stronger than me, former natioanal athletes, I decided I would share a little bit about how to get there.
When you are in high school and college too, it feels like there is a social order everywhere you go. You could probably line up the kids in your grade from coolest to least cool with little trouble. And most of the other students would probably come up with a pretty similar list if they were being honest with themselves. Inside your head you probably have a sense of how cool you are on a scale from 1-10. i would like you to think about that right now. When you go to a bar or club, you probably try to assess everyone in relation to you. So if you feel like a 4. You assume that 60% of the people are cooler than you.
This feeling can occur in different ways. Maybe you just assume that 60% of the people know each other. Maybe you think that that many of the people are in relationships etc. But it kind of becomes your barrier to succcess. As you’re interacting with women, this can be in the back of your mind. As soon as you learn a few cool pickup lines and go to try them out, you are basically throwing something new out there and waiting to see what happens. In your heart you are hoping that your rank instantly changes.
You can become so interested in the trees that you don’t even realize that there is a forest.
The truth is that your not in high school anymore and that social hierarchies are an artificial construct. Now I know I’m using some big boy words here and I apologize for that. What I mean is that your social rank in a group is imaginary. It only exists if everyone agrees to believe in it. It is like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. He is dressed until 1 person breaks the group mindset. It only takes 1 person. If you refuse to accept letting other people tell you how cool you are etc, then you break the entire system.
You get to determine how cool you are!
Coolness is actually a factor of self-confidence and how you project that self confidence. So start assuming you are the coolest person. If you act like you are 10 on the cool scale you will become that 10. You can bend reality if you believe in yourself enough. Last night the guys I was with made me change bars like 7 times. Each new bar I would have it going on with a new girl and people were loving me.
Now you are probably thinking that’s because I have killer game. But that’s only HALF of it. The more important factor is that I BELIEVE I have killer game. By believing in myself I create myself. So when I walk into bars like a celebrity people are absorbed into my reality.
I walked into 8 or 9 bars last night and I was only carded at 1 of them. The bar the 2 girls bounced me to at the end of the night. Everyone else got carded everywhere we went. If you walk in with authority instead of submitting to the lame ID Line – people react to it accordingly. No one who’s not 21 has that kind of confidence.
So you can become the eye of the storm in any bar or club you go to. Just move reality with you. Act the way you think a cool person should act until you actually become one with the idea that you ARE cool. I mean you read this blog, that is a clear sign that your awesome in my book.!